Fly Fishing Adventure #1

We hit the water probably a little after 7:30am on Saturday, the sun slowly rising over the bank of the canal. Just my dad and me in his boat. Just the wind and the water around us.

I hadn't been out fishing with my dad since I was a kid. As he cranked up the boat motor and we took off, those forgotten moments of youth came rushing back, and I caught myself thinking - why did I ever stop doing this?

The answer, of course, I already know: my teenage years were filled with me-centered activity, with friends more than family. I missed a lot of things I now regret. But that's another post altogether.

We found a good spot, boat parallel to shore, and got set up to fish, him from the front and me from the back of the boat. My dad has been doing this for years. He's a master. I like watching him end a cast, seeing his line roll out across the surface of the water and land next to the shore, within easy reach of the fish lurking below the surface.

My casts are beginner casts. About one in ten land near where I meant them to go, and more often than not, I end up with a long zig-zag of line on top of the water. The fish were pretty forgiving, though. Twelve took the bait and survived my disorganized efforts to bring them in to the boat and unhook them. I was pretty excited.

There's something peaceful about being on the water like that. For five hours, I had nothing in my head but my line and the fish I hoped to tempt into biting it. I watched my dad bring in catch after catch of his own, too, and I couldn't help beaming. I've seen him catch hundreds of fish over the years. This time was somehow different. Maybe because it looks an awful lot like fly fishing has hooked me.

I know that I desperately needed something I found out there on the water. I'd been looking forward to the weekend, hoping to find it, but not having any idea where it would come from. Peace. Solitude. A mental rest and reset.

But that was really only part of it. I started learning to fly fish because I was curious about it, wanted to write about it, and because I knew learning was something I could do and share with my dad. Going out yesterday was the next step, sort of the culmination of those efforts, and I wasn't entirely sure how I'd feel about it all. I would not have regretted the day, even if it turned out fly fishing wasn't my thing. I wanted the time with my dad. That would have been enough.

Instead, I honestly adored it from the first minute to the last. And I already can't wait to get back out there again. The picture below is me with my first fish (please pardon the medusa hair.)

Smile for Saturday

I love Saturday mornings. They're the one time of the week that is all mine. I can choose to lie in bed with a book and be lazy, hit the couch with some junk food and a movie, or, as is the plan on this particular Saturday morning - take care of a whole list of nagging to-do list items I wasn't able to cross off this week.

There are only nine more Saturdays left this year, including today. The last of those is Christmas. Eight more weeks until Christmas... Is it weird that this year I'm not dreading it?

Right now in this quiet, peaceful place, it's hard to dread anything.

Top Five Favorite Movie Moments for Story and Writing

5. Penelope: When he's playing chess with her in front of the mirror. I love the symbolism of that moment-- they're figuring each other out over this calculated game (which she wins! ha!)while he stands in front of a mirror, which shows how his relationship with Penelope ultimately forces him to see himself-- ie his character-- for the empty shell he's become.

4. Mulan: At the end, when Mulan returns home with medals and honors to present to her father as some kind of penance for what she's done, and he lifts her chin and tells her, "The greatest gift and honor is having you for a daughter." Really touching moment. Gets me every time. Shut up.

3. Oceans 11: Danny Ocean happens upon his old flame, Tess, as she waits for her new man to meet her for dinner. After a minute of him trying to be smart and her aloof replies keeping him at bay, Danny asks (about Tess's new lover), "Does he make you laugh?" Tess responds, "He doesn't make me cry."

Two little lines that spell out their entire relationship - peaks to pitfalls, why she chose the new guy - safety over fun, and why she won't be pursuing him again - too painful.

2. Bella: As Nina lists reasons why she will seek an abortion, her voice is cold, detached from her situation. But cut into the conversation are images of her later in the waiting room at a clinic, an exam room, and as she emerges, weeping. A powerful message that the choice is not one coolly calculated or without deep emotional conflict.

1. On a Clear Day: The climactic moment when Frank's goal (swimming the English Channel) is within reach, but the thing he wants most is at his fingertips. (Sorry... trying not to spoil it for anyone who has not seen the movie...) I love the metaphor of crossing the Channel and how it's almost a symbol of another key relationship in his life, and how accomplishing one may unexpectedly put the other within reach. This is one of my favorite movies.

How Badly Do You Want It?

I'm looking over my list of New Year's Resolutions for 2010 to see how close to target I am. I know, that sounds disgustingly driven. Actually, if you saw my list, you'd be convinced I need to get out more and make fewer to-do lists. Yes, I suffer from extreme Eldest Child Syndrome. But at last I may be learning to embrace my inner Over-Achiever.

Because the truth for me is this: no one is ever going to make me do these things. Writing, in my life, is optional. It doesn't pay bills. It doesn't entertain my daughter or impress my friends (well, it'd be nice if it did!) or make my house clean.

Writing, for me, is about desire. It's about a dream. It's about a story. It's about releasing something inside of me by watching a blinking black cursor move across a white screen, letters chasing after it.

And it will only happen if I pursue it. If I want it. If my fingers press those keys and make those words appear, day after day, hour after hour, no matter what other responsibilities and challenges arise and have to be taken care of.

So that's the question I keep asking myself as I look at my ambitious list of 2010 goals: how badly do I want it?

Because it will take every ounce of that desire, determination, and passion to pursue this dream and create something worthwhile.

I listed four manuscripts I want to see finished by the end of this year. One needs editing and two are partially complete, so it's not like I'm trying to write four totally new pieces this year. Really, I'm trying to clear my shelf of these half-finished ideas. It's time. Definitely time.

So that's my goal. What's yours?

How badly do you want it?